Basic steps to deal with anger

Many of us have problems in expressing our anger. We all have been taught in our early childhood that we are supposed to be sweet & nice and that expression of anger is not tolerated. The situation becomes very confusing to the child who sees the parents to handle their anger and at the same not allowed handling his anger in the same way. So, bottling up of anger starts and one fine morning it suddenly explodes. It is not possible for everyone to stay unmoved by frustration or pain and therefore, one should know how to manage stress. There is no point in venting the feelings through outbursts. On the contrary, one should take control of his life and be poised. These basic steps to deal with anger will help you out to be assertive and control your anger for pursuing your goals.

The following 7 steps to deal with anger provide unique psychological process to mange anger effectively

1. Define the problem

Anger is a response to emotional stimulus and so defining the problem comes first in how to control anger. Once you have gone through the situation, you should try to describe the problem in exact words especially in one or two sentences. This will tell you what exactly sparked your rage.

2. Acknowledge anger

After you have defined the problem, give yourself some space. Taking a deep breath and listening to the self for minute or so is also one of the most vital steps to deal with anger. Think of the physical sensation you have for being angry and ask yourself if it would be wise to let others know what you are feeling. Also think how you can use your energy for precipitating the issue

3. Choose proper time of discussion

It is always better to choose some other time to discuss the issue that provoked you anger. A sudden outburst of anger always makes the party extremely defensive barring all possible ways of reaching a solution and this will further frustrate you. So, have time to discuss the issues.

4. Avoid blaming others

Trying to find the fault of others or blaming others can never lead anyone to any solution. When you blame others, you simply sow the seed of a defensive counter attack. Such counter attacks make one feel more and more helpless and becomes an obstacle in solving the problem effectively. So, avoid judging and accusing others as one of the important steps to deal with anger.

5. Listening to others

Each every person has got his side of story. So, for controlling anger one must also give others enough time to respond and listen to them most attentively. You should never interrupt or rehearse your points while the others are talking. And when your time comes respond to them after being sure that you have clearly heard their points.

6. Using assertive communication

Assertive communication involves appropriate expression of feelings without hurting the feelings or authority of the others. This is also one of the best steps to deal with anger. One should always make “I” statements and come forward with calm response using terms that drive the point home without being offensive.

7. Practice empathy

Practicing to wear other’s shoe can make all the difference in the world. Giving due to consideration to other’s point of view is the best way to control anger. Understanding what caused the behavior of the other person, the anger tends to disappear completely.