How Do You Know if you have an Anger Management Problem

Do you think you have an anger management problem? If you think you do then you are probably right; rarely do people think they have a problem with their temper unless there's reason. Chances are someone around you has also mentioned the problem or symptoms of the problem, or you've already crossed the line and have lashed out verbally or physically. But if you're still not sure if you have an actual anger management problem or are just a bit emotional, consider a few things.

Control of anger

First, how likely are you to fly off the handle at what is really a minor incident or inconvenience? Dinner is five minutes late, traffic is just slightly backed up, or the phone rings when you're busy. For things like this, do you react inappropriately with anger and temper?

If so you have an anger management problem. Being angry at war and starving children is one thing, but being angry at dinner that's late or traffic is quite another. Minor irritations should cause minor reactions, not major fits of temper. And of course if you get angry like this all the time then you n doubt have an anger management problem. Anyone can have a bad day or be overly tired or have other reasons for losing their temper on occasion but when your anger flares over small things on a consistent basis then this is a problem. It can be difficult to be honest with yourself about the extent of your anger and temper tantrums and how often they occur but you can't get control of your anger management problem if you can't admit that it exists.

A good counselor

In any event, when it comes to an anger management problem it's always better to be safe than sorry and to seek help or counseling even if you only suspect you need it and aren't quite sure yet. A good counselor can give you an honest evaluation and also share some helpful pointers and tips that will help you keep your temper under control.

Don't Make Others Put Up With Your Anger Management Issues

Another consideration when it comes to an anger management problem is whether or not your temper is interfering with your personal relationships. You may have grown up in a home where everyone had a temper problem and so anger doesn't bother you or frighten you as much as the next person but if your spouse or children or coworkers or anyone else has suffered from an outburst of yours then there is cause for concern.

You might downplay the damage that's done because your spouse hasn't left you or because you don't have a police record, but this doesn't mean your temper is harmless!

No one should be forced to put up with someone else's anger management problemand remember that mental and verbal abuse is often just as damaging as physical abuse, especially in the case of children. You may very well have an anger management problem that just hasn't caught up with you yet.

Anger Management Tips for Parents

BEING a parent can test your patience to the maximum.

It is easy to get to boiling point and thats the reason for this article on Anger Management Tips for Parents, whether you have a pre-school child who makes you late by saying "no" to everything or a stroppy teen who goes against your every instruction.

The challenges of parenting plus the daily stress of juggling finances, of running a home or the workplace can mean parents may feel overwhelmed and frustrated.

Unaware of the strains they cause your kids end up being surprised and often distressed when what they see as a minor misdemeanor results in a big angry explosion from you.

All parents want to react patiently and sympathetically to their child and many turn to anger management strategies to keep strong responses under control.

If your battling with your kids, try these Anger Management Tips for Parents  whenever you feel your temper starting to rise.

Recognise the Signs

Take time to assess just how wound up you are. Look for physical responses like tensing your muscles or sweating and feeling hot. There could also be mental responses like 'she deliberately makes me late', 'he doesn't respect me'.

Try These Relaxation Techniques

Counteract physical signs by letting your shoulders drop and shake out tension from your hands . Take a deep breath and being relaxing your muscles. Once you've done this, try to get your thoughts under control and challenge any you feel are over the top.

If you're still struggling, it can help to occupy your brain with something difficult to think about, such as counting backwards from 100 in 7's. Because you're focused on a difficult mental puzzle, you become diverted from focusing on the anger.

Try to think about the times when you're children have been well behaved and have done what was asked of them. Don't focus just on all the bad things that are going on at that point in time.

Ask yourself how much of your anger relates to things that are stressing you out that aren't related to your child's behavior. They're not responsible for worries about your job security, so try not to let your fears and frustrations spill over and spoil the relationship you have with your child, trying the tips above will relay help you as a parent in managing anger.

Tips to Stop Being So Easily Annoyed

Some people never appear to be angered by anything. Others are so delicate that they're almost upset by the way someone takes a breath. Being conveniently upset is often a triggered by an unrealistic need for perfection or a vulnerable vanity. That's excellent news! It indicates that you're the cause of your feelings. You have the power to alter your reactions.

Free yourself from really feeling annoyed:

1. Think positive intentions. Not everyone is a master wordsmith. Some people have a flair of claiming things the wrong way. Until you're specific, think that the possible transgressor had the most effective of objectives, yet inadequate technique. Concentrate on the motif of the remark.

Assumptions could trigger all sorts of obstacles. Stay clear of thinking the most awful up until you have proof to support those ideas.

2. Take into consideration that they could be right. Nobody prefers to be slammed, yet most of us deserve it at times. No one is perfect.


3. Ask yourself why you really feel angered in the first place. What's the reason? If you're annoyed that your buddy is 20 mins late, just what exactly is the source of your stress? Is it the inconvenience? The idea that your pal does not respect your time? Your idea that responsible individuals are prompt, and you do not like irresponsible people?

You could be the source of your very own irritation. The more convinced you are that things need to be a certain way, the more often you'll be dissatisfied.

4. Allow others to be themselves. No one is wandering the Earth trying to make you miserable. Every person is living their life in their very own way.

Sometimes, our lives converge, and also the opportunity for somebody to be dissatisfied exists. Some individuals might be too brusque, superficial, or cheap for your preferences, However they may likewise might not be thrilled with you.

Provide everyone the space they need to operate in their own manner. You'll obtain much more acceptance if you provide much more acceptance.

5. Decide not to be offended. You could pick your reaction to any situation. You don't need to end up being dismayed and upset when somebody does or states something you don't like. You could opt to neglect the scenario and just carry on. You can decide to consider the action or comment from various points of view.

6. Be flexible. The longer you hold onto adverse feelings, the longer you're harming your own. Forgive others so you can move on with your life.

7. Approve yourself. Often times, we're angered since we do not like the truth.

No one wishes to be called fat, lazy, short, or impatient. Yet several of us fall into one or more of these categories. We simply do not like to be reminded of the fact! Accept your absence of perfection and you won't be so effortlessly upset.


8. Develop your self-confidence. Research studies show that those most quickly angered typically have reduced levels of self-esteem. When you feel much better about yourself, you will not be so quickly troubled by the words and also habits of others.

9. Recognize exactly how you're harming yourself by being overly sensitive. If you're quickly upset, you're not very happy in general. It just isn't feasible. When you understand just how much your sensitivity is hurting you, it will be easier to transform. Exactly how has being upset hurt you in the past?

An old African proverb says, "If there is no enemy within, the enemy outside can do us no harm." The ability to appreciate and also approve of yourself identifies how conveniently you're upset. When you can approve your flaws and also those of others, it's very hard to be upset. It is necessary to offer yourself and others the space to be themselves.


Kurt Tasche is a martial artist, Internet entrepreneur and motivational coach who writes articles and produces videos on the subjects of marketing and personal development. You can connect with him on his Facebook Page here



Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9477026

Tips to let go of your anger easily

When we fully feel, experience and are present with an emotion, it only lasts for short periods of time (minutes to hours).

But what about the person who always seems to be angry, depressed, grumpy or in a bad mood? They have turned what is an emotion into a state. A state is created by the mind when you replay things over and over again.

When we watch a bad movie, do we watch it again and again? Of course not! So why would you replay a 'bad' event in your life over and over again in your head? All it serves to do is to reinforce the emotion over and over again.

Here are some strategies my patients and I have found helpful in letting go of bad states:


Write and journal your feelings. If it was a person who angered you, write them a letter. Once you've gotten everything out on paper. Burn it or throw it away.

If you are feeling the need to move or hit something, try a punching bag or a pillow. That way, you get exercise at the same time. It's also a positive way to release stored up energy.

Try meditation to calm your mind. There are great app's like Headspace that teach beginners how to meditate.

Try something new. Take up a new hobby, sport, etc. Channel your emotions into something positive and creative.

Focus on things that you have control over. You are in charge of the way you feel, how you react and your perspective on a situation. You can't control how someone else reacts. Recognize where you can make changes and work in those areas.

Find a friend and ask for 5 minutes to rant. After 5 minutes, your time is up and you move on.

Put yourself in the other person's shoes. Perhaps they were having a bad day before they met you, maybe there's too much on their plate or they are overworked and stressed. How often have you acted out in times of stress?

Forgive. Picture them in your mind and say to them "I forgive you".

Identify the lesson. In each situation, you can learn something about yourself or life. Ask yourself, what is the lesson here? If it was someone else that triggered your anger, ask yourself, what buttons exist within you that were pushed? Do you have a need to be right? An expectation of being perfect? Did you get upset because one of your expectations were not met?

If you are still having trouble letting go or something traumatic has happened to you, please come in for a consult or seek further help.

Physical, emotional and mental tension that is not resolved gets stored in your body. Over time, you run out of 'storage space' and secondary conditions such as pain, can occur. Learn to optimize your nervous system by letting go.

Article Source: http://EzineArticles.com/9478994

Know about 5 stages of grief anger

To tackle grief is not an easy thing to do. All those who have encountered loss and death can tell you this. Loss is something everyone experiences at one time or another and when there is loss grief has to be there. However the fact is that the sole way of handling grief is to actually handle grief. Before we discuss the 5 stages of grief anger let’s first try and recognize the process of grief.

 According to experts

• Grief is the method that we use for letting go of what was and getting ready for that which would come.
• There are more than a few forms of heartache that could provide an outline of what one can expect and help one move ahead.
• Among the most prominent models is what is known as the 5 stages of grief anger, whose architect is the late Elizabeth Kubler-Ross.

Though a good number of us are familiar with this model what r the 5 stages of grief this is what we discuss below.

What are the 5 stages of grief anger

The stages of grief in order are:

• Anger
• Denial
• Depression
• Bargaining
• Acceptance

The above stages of grief in order are guideposts that help us recognize and recognize what our feelings could be. Not everybody is going to experience all stages, and numerous people are going to get through these stages in a special order. However, generally speaking, grief is going to consist of the 5 phases that we would be discussing below.

Denial

The steps of depression denial involve

• Numbness
• Shock, and
• Disbelief

When loss occurs most of us cannot believe what has happened.  The person concerned is not actually denying the death/ loss. Instead the feeling is one of disbelief. On the other hand the feelings that one experiences on this phase also protects him/her. Had we taken in all the sentiment associated with the loss immediately, it is going to be too overwhelming. Instead, the body and mind of the affected person has some time to fine-tune with the present state of affairs.

• The steps of depression denial also involve the affected person telling his/her story repeatedly. This is among the finest ways of handling trauma, and making it real.
• In due course, we could start making inquiries like “What was the cause of this,” / “Why?” This indicates that we’re getting over the denial part and moving into the process of feeling and healing.

Anger as one of the 5 stages of grief anger

Anger has several manifestations like

• Anger towards those you are close to
• Anger towards others
• Anger towards God
• Anger at yourself

Anger is an emotion that could be tough to handle.

• While some are going to express anger promptly and toward anyone / anything there are those who are going to suppress their anger till he/she start feeling guilty of not having done enough for the deceased or have a feeling of anger towards the deceased.
• Those who identifies and labels their anger might be able to express their anger in better ways without hurting others or ourselves.

Bargaining

Those who do this feel that they simply would like living how they used to. This is among the 5 stages of grief anger that could commence ahead of the loss occurring or after it. If the passing away / loss was projected bargaining is likely to have been continuing for some time. If the passing away / loss was abrupt, we could hope of bringing them back or taking step back to the past and alter things. Bargaining helps keep our focus on the earlier times such that we don’t sense the sentiments of today. However bargaining could be helpful as well. After we have accepted that the person we love is dying, we could use it for easing our and their minds.

What follows bargaining is depression and Acceptance of the death of your close one.

Ten ways of anger management for children with ADHD

Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder or ADHD is a condition concerning improper neuro development and is characterized by problems in being attentive, having hyper activity, or difficulty in controlling behavior. These children need special care and managing anger for children having ADHD may be a chronic issue for the parents. These methods of anger management for children with ADHD will hopefully help such children to manage anger successfully.

Here are the ten ways of anger management for children with ADHD and the parents can adopt these for better results.

1. Engage the child in exercises

Physical exercise is one of the best methods for enhancing the activities of the brain. Children with ADHD are usually found to be more hostile than the normal kids and therefore for teaching anger management to ADHD children they must be engaged in workouts for promoting healthybrain function eventually reducing aggressiveness.

2. Record behavior of the child

Keeping records of the outbursts is another good way to management anger in ADHD Children. This should be done at home and also in school and include what caused the anger & when it occurred; his or her actions when not able to control anger; and what is the reaction of the peers.

3. Look for patterns

After compiling data you should look for pattern like whether the outbursts happen at the same time every day or after same time of taking medicines and try to find out what triggers the explosions. Finding these will help you to plan proper course of action.

4. Discussing with the child

Discussions based on the trend and pattern of anger helps anger management for children with ADHD. You must try to get clues about what provokes the child and you should teach the child what to do in case of frustration like to raise hand when asking for help.

5. Looking at the diet

Diet is also a vital factor to be looked at. Generally children suffering from ADHD lack in Magnesium and Zinc. So having a proper diet can help to reduce hyperactivity and restlessness. It was also seen that kids who have diet rich in sugary carbohydrates tend to have more mood swings and so looking at the diet plan is a must.

6. Expressing feelings in words

The most common cause of a child losing control is the inability to articulate frustration. So the parents must develop a way of putting feeling into words as a tool of anger management for children with ADHD. Teach the child the difference between irritations and enraging and train expressing feelings; as saying “I am angry” helps to prevent anger from turning into violence.

7. Recognizing early signs

Getting tense or feeling excessive pounding of heart etc are the early signs. Train the child to recognize and share these warnings for preventing escalation of anger.

8. Getting sleep

Children suffering from ADHD are often found to have disturbed sleep and this makes them moody. So you must ensure that your child have enough sleep by telling bedtime stories and developing a sleeping routine. If required, electronic gadgets are to be taken out.

9. Advising actions

Never tell your child what not do; rather you should focus on what he or she should do. This is a very good way of anger management for children with ADHD because brainstorming different ideas helps to anger to melt down.

10. Diffuse tough situations

Diffusing tough situations with humor and making him or her understand that you are on their sides also helps to mange anger efficiently.

Secrets on how to deal with rage

It is very much important for us to control our rage and spread the joy among us. Work pressures and frustrating greedy world around us is making it difficult for us to how to deal with rage and anger. This anger and act of rage is very much common among the youngsters and children of today and it’s very much necessary to cop up with it and find a favorable way to deal with it. Let’s find out some common features how to deal with anger which urge rage among youngsters.

Why youngsters inflict rage attacks on his/her friends

• Parents are always creating pressure among the students to improve their grades.
• They are mostly becoming greedy about the playing items and the technological facilities which his/her classmates enjoy but he/she is deprived of
• Thought of gaining sole control over every classmate.

Rage attacks when inflicted on you, how you can overcome?

• It is advised to the students who is suffering with these rage attacks how to deal with rage attacks not to retaliate then and there. Offer a resistance to the attacker and keep in mind that he or she doesn’t get hurt.
• If you are good in your studies and tasks, you must also help your friends with notes and substances is also how to deal with rage attacks
• Try to offer a supporting shoulder to your friend every time. You must not forget that a friend in need is a friend indeed.

But how to help yourself when these ideas are proving to be of no use and you are digging yourself more in to problem than getting out of it. It is also pretty obvious that you will develop a similar kind of anger for your friend. But it’s silly to urging fight with your friends and know how to deal with rage.

Why you should control the anger developed in you?

• Having a hot argument with your friend doesn’t solve the issue and it gives rises to newer issues. Better it is advised that you avoid contact with your friend is how to deal with rage.
• You might write a short letter to your friend about how much hurt you are seeing his/her distorted behavior.
• Doing meditations and yoga is also a way to how to better control your anger with inner peace and mind organization.

If you are not getting an upper hand on your opponent, better control your anger

What if after having a heated argument you find yourself in much worse situation. You are getting much more trouble than before. Your inner happiness is vanished and now you have developed a killer instinct in you. Act of vengeance is the only thing which you now have in your mind. Isn’t it creating a much greater problem for you? You better control your anger as you are the one who can change the world.

You can follow these steps regularly and channelize the heated energy within you to get something more productive

• When you wake up in the morning start your day with a bit of exercise.
• You can tune into some most favorite tracks of yours and listen. It’s a way how to better control your anger.
• Think of some fantasy world before going to sleep may be a way to how to deal with anger

It might be difficult how to deal with rage when you are in a challenging position but having a fight and bloodshed is useless. Remember my friend a good thought is the only thing which can change the world.